11.08.2005

Roma-phobic Conjugal Dispensationalists?

Could somebody please tell me why Lutherans know next to nothing about Natural Family Planning - NFP? I'm one of them, or at least I was.

Why is it that we will tell our daughters, sisters, soon-to-be-brides that 'The Pill' is the way to go - treating their fertility like a malady to be remedied? Medicating them for something that is neither a sickness nor disease. Telling our young brides effectively, "Honey, you know I love everything about you right... that is except your womb."

Why is it that the sage advice that so many young people have received from our parents is, "Do yourselves a favor... give yourselves time, several years, before having kids. You deserve it. You'll need that time to get to know each other..."? Why do we give that advice to young married couples for the supposed health of their marriage when the statistics tell us that those marriages that are blessed with children during the first two years of marriage are statistically healthier and longer lasting than those that wait?

Why don't we commend our daughters, sisters, soon-to-be-brides and their soon-to-be-husbands to consider NFP? It treasures and celebrates the marriage bond and the God given fertility therein from the wedding day on and this turns out to be healthy as demonstrated by the fact that couples who use NFP experience divorce at a much lower rate than contracepting couples! NFP does not lead us to be dispensationalists in the marriage bed- for a time overcoming and trumping/tricking their fertility only to make a radical shift at another time in an attempt to fully cherish and embrace that which we just sought to overcome!

Why then do most Lutherans know next to nothing about NFP? Could it be that we laugh with some 70 plus % percent of contracepting Catholics at their official church stance against contraceptives? "When will Rome get current with the times," we ask? (Interestingly this is the same form/line of questioning that is happening within the ELCA as they work on their 'Journeying Together Faithfully' study on 'sexuality and the role of same gender unions in the church.') Are we Roma-phobic? Well, yes, I believe that to some degree that is the case. But I believe that there is something worse yet at play...

Question: Are you ignorant or apathetic?
Answer: I don't know and I don't care!

Of the two, ignorance is the lesser problem. Ignorance can be remedied with good information and clear instruction – something Lutherans have always prized themselves on. Ignorance is real and yet there is no reason that it be anything other than temporary.

Apathy... there's the bugger, and from my perspective it is forever more difficult to deal with. How do you deal with a person who doesn’t know and worse yet doesn’t care to know? How do you deal with a church that is much the same?

With one voice we groan at the unhealthy state of marriage in our world today. And yet we ourselves participate so fully and so uncritically in the very same culture that has given rise to this sad state of affairs.

As Confessional/Sacramental Lutherans will we take the time to learn why prior to 1930 every Christian Church, including our own, stood along side the Roman Church in condemning contraception and espousing a better way? And the bigger question is this: When this path before us is illumined by the Cross of Christ will we care to do anything about it in our own marriages? In the church?

4 comments:

Pr. David Rufner said...

Chris, so great to have you aboard... I hope you and your family are doing well. On Thursday I will have a 3 hour Amtrak layover in Chicago on the way down to the Lutherans For Life conference. This will allow me to stop in on good ol' St. James and have lunch with Bob Donovan. Keep in touch and please consider writing some posts yourself for this blog.
David

Conner7 said...

Steal away!

Conner7 said...

RMGC,

Your "do the dishes" comment brought something to mind.

one of the things I teach in my marriage enrichment seminar is the meaning of biblical love - it's an action verb - something we do for / show our spouse. So when I tell husbands to love their wives, I tell them to SHOW their love through visible actions. Love must be more than sincere, it must have substance.

So, the example I use is of the way I express my love to Rebecca. I tell them that when I tell Rebecca I love her, I demonstrate that love for her by doing the one thing she hates to do more than anything else in the world: clean the toilets. It's a comical example, but it gets the point across. (and yes, I wash dishes too.)

And by the way, Rebecca shows her love for me by doing the one thing I hate doing more than anything in the world: cooking.

I know we're strange, but it works.

What does this have to do w/ NFP? Not much, other than the fact that I believe NFP is an excellent way to show love to your spouse too.

J.Conner

Conner7 said...

Tina,

i'm happy to share whatever you like, but I'm not sure how to do it.

Dave,
is there a way to post a file on the blog?

Tina,
I could always email it to you, but I don't know if you really want your email posted on-line.

Dave,
any suggestions on this?

J.COnner