Are You Done?

From what I understand mothers are asked this question all the time following the births of their children, sometimes even in the delivery room. Until today, I have never been asked.

This morning I went to my Doctor for a regular checkup. The Lord blessed us with our third child and first son in April, so the receptionist, nurse and doctor all greeted me with congratulations - very nice. Everyone in there knows I'm a pastor and I look like one too when I arrive, dressed in clericals and such - currently too hot for a cassock to wear 'round town.

As I was getting my blood drawn (lousy cholesterol) the nurse asked, "So, now that you have the boy are you done?"

I honestly did not know how to respond other than, "I certainly hope not. The Lord has given us these and I pray He gives us more." No reply to that.

The contraceptive mind must run like this. One has children to get what he wants. Now that I have a masculine child there be no need for anymore, right? I have the BOY, my hunting buddy, the guy to teach how to play baseball, football etc. MY little man, MY guy. There can only be so much attention and love (AND MONEY) to go around. Happy! Content! Finished! Desires Fulfilled! So, Done! Time for the snip snip appointment, or perhaps get my wifey to her doctor to get the tubes put in a knot or whatever other method the human mind has concocted to disrupt or destroy.

Note also the assumption that the Christian pastor must have the mentality of everyone else. He and his bride can only take so much - 2 girls, 1 boy, enough is enough. Done. But then why the question- "Are you done?"

I think it has to be the law written on the heart of all these people who ask. They know that they should not be saying, "I'm done." It has been put into their conscience by the Lord Himself to be fruitful and multiply. Let it be said once again, as with all posts of this nature, we are not dealing with the hard and difficult cases. And so that denial of Life must have company, not only with the spouse but with everyone else. If only we all say that we are DONE, than it will be OK. If only we all together reject the gifts that God Himself gives we will be OK. Safety in numbers; safety then in our choices. Choices that reject God's gift of the lives of human beings. Choices that say "No thanks God, I'm done with You giving me things that you call blessings. I am done with you creating life, people, human beings, children that you fearfully and wonderfully make through the means of the union of husband and wife. I'm done with your Son Jesus wishing the little children to come to Him. Done with Him putting His hands on them and blessing them at the font. I'm done with the very purpose of marriage itself, not by your choosing but by mine. No thank you God, I AM DONE."

I say no thanks to that. The Blessed Holy Trinity is the giver of Life, so let's let Him decide when we're done. No thanks to saying "no thanks" to the Father, (the Maker of Heaven and Earth) to His Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, (In him was life; and the life was the light of men) and to the Holy Spirit, (the Lord and Giver of Life). Let's let it be up to the Blessed Trinity whether we are done, or not. Or whether we'll be given sick children, or healthy children. Let's let Him decide whose going to be living and who is going to be born. Let's even let Him decide when we should die. Let's let Him decide when our parents should die. Let's even let Him decide when our children should die - long after we are dead, d.v. Let's let Him be God, and us be creatures. Let's believe that He really is the one who makes children, that they really are His, and He seems not to be done yet. As of this writing, the Father has not sent His Son to return on the clouds with all His Holy angels.



Plus, who wouldn't want some more of those people up in that picture?

Natural Law Revisited

Sex, without babies? Behold the origin of our conundrums in reproductive ethics! Our culture developed the technology to separate the sexual act from procreation, classically with the extramarital use of the Pill (in the sexual revolution), and thus was unleashed a host of problems that have plagued us ever since. So the argument goes. We would have no reproductive ethical dilemmas had we kept together the sexual act and procreation.

So writes Hans Madueme, a research analyst for the Center for Bioethics & Human Dignity in "Natural Law and a Reformed Bioethics: Another Look." Citing a few recent books that seek to revive a natural law tradition among Reformed theologians, Madueme concludes that "when it comes to reproductive ethics, Protestant ethics has typically dropped the ball." He attributes this ball-dropping primarily to Protestantism's departure from natural law.

I wonder if Lutheranism fits a s similar pattern. Some folks at The Hausvater Project pointed out "that the Lutheran Confessions at times also appeal to natural law, natural rights, and the like, even while still maintaining the sola scriptura principle (e.g. Apol. XVI, 11; Apol. XXIII (XI), 6-12, 60). This is possible because natural law, properly construed, will not contradict Scripture." That's looking back to the sixteenth century. Today, many people (Lutherans included) seem more comfortable appealing to personal preferences than articulating their viewpoint in terms of natural law. From Madueme again: "One benefit of recognizing natural law (or with Lutherans, the 'order of creation') is that it recovers a much more robust, ontological, moral realism." It's not just about what I want sex to be, but what God created sex to be, and both nature and scripture reveal that creation plan. Madueme continues:

Properly defined, natural law and biblical revelation are ontologically connected by divine design and that should inform our moral and ethical lives. Bioethics then is not just an intriguing sideshow, a sometimes curious footnote to our otherwise routine lives. The integrity of God's moral order is fundamentally at stake.