The following article traces one couple's difficult quest to conceive: Death of a Dream. The article concludes with the realization that whether childless or child rich, one must wait upon the Lord who blesses in His own manner and His own timing. Sadly, however, the article begins with a recognition (though not so clearly a regret) that the couple's recent struggle for fertility had been preceded by a five-year insistence against fertility:
It is odd how frequently pastors emphasize in pre-marital counseling that marriage takes three--the husband, the wife, and Christ who holds them together--and yet when it comes to self-imposed infertility, so many couples follow in the path of the woman writing this article: "When my husband and I married, we made a deal...." Where was Christ in that arrangement? For five years she and her husband pushed away God's gift of children, and then after one year of failed attempts to conceive, followed by some invasive procedures, they felt their dream of having a child was dying. How alive had that dream been during their first five years of marriage?
When my husband and I married, we made a deal: We'd wait five years before starting a family. Five years would allow us to start our careers, be on better financial footing, and have time just for us. So when the moratorium passed, with anticipation, I stopped using birth control.
After 12 months of not taking the Pill and still buying tampons, I started to research the subject. "Eight-five percent of couples trying to conceive will become pregnant within one year." Red flag. We were already past that.
If we, as Christians, truly want our dreams to live, we must put to death the sinful flesh, drowning that Old Adam through daily contrition and repentance, asking God to forgive us for our prior attitudes and actions that have sought to thwart His will, and to give us the strength to rightfully seek and accept His current will for our lives. We must let our own dreams die, and learn to dream the dreams that He has for us. Just as those who delayed coming to the Wedding Feast had their invitations revoked, so also God's gift of fertility may only be available for a time.